Every woman has those life changing moments that are forever cemented on her brain. For mamas of multiples, one of the most earthshaking times is when she first finds out that she’s carrying not just one, but two or more babies. I remember the utter shock and disbelief I felt when my doctor told me that there were two heartbeats showing up on the sonogram. My husband and I conceived naturally and had no history of twins in our families so it wasn’t even on the radar. We were completely blindsided.
So what should you do beyond all the normal pregnancy stuff?
First of all, breathe.
Yes, you are expecting twins, and yes, life is going to change radically. But I promise that you will figure out how to make it all work. Whether you think of yourself as being resourceful, flexible and capable of running a marathon, you WILL make it work.
Join a local mother of multiples club in your area as soon as possible.
You’ll get expert advice and find affordable secondhand twin gear. You can tap into a local club by visiting the national site.
Get educated about your birth options.
Unfortunately, much like singleton pregnancies, women carrying multiples are subjected to a lot of myths within the medical field.
Myth #1 Twins Always Come Early
Statistically, most twins are delivered early. It has become rare for expecting moms to deliver twins past the 38th week because most doctors usually plan on delivering by week 38 or sooner. Current recommendations from the obstetric colleges may recommend inducement but there is little or no evidence to support that regular induction is beneficial. Of course if there are certain medical issues, it may be necessary to induce early. In my case, my doctor pushed to induce even though there were no complications, but I was able to hold back until natural labor started 3 days shy of 40 weeks. I credit some of this to following the Brewer Diet which is based on studies that show a correlation of higher protein intakes to longer gestation periods. Overall, as in any pregnancy, it’s better for babies to go to 40 weeks if possible. Don’t get steamrolled into the automatic 38 week induction.
Myth #2 Twins Always Require a C-Section
Many doctors are not comfortable delivering twins, so they may recommend a c-section. They may use a scare tactic and tell you that it’s possible to deliver one vaginally and the other may need a c-section; so why bother trying to deliver vaginally? Remember, it’s your choice. Many twins are delivered vaginally everywhere, but it’s not usually promoted as a first choice. Shop around for a doctor and a hospital that is willing to give you options. And look for a doctor/midwife who knows how to manipulate the babies position to avoid a breech birth.
Myth #3 Twin Pregnancies are Always High Risk and Bedrest is Likely
By medical definition, pregnancies with multiples are considered high risk. You can anticipate seeing a doctor or specialist every two weeks and running a gazillion screening and progress tests. You will probably hear about all the risks of two babies sharing the womb at the same time and the extra strain on the mother’s body. But most twin pregnancies don’t require bedrest and most of these pregnant mamas remain fairly active into the final months. Carrying twins can be tiring, so I would recommend a) getting a pregnancy support belt b) getting a pregnancy body pillow and c) get a temporary disabled parking permit for your car.
Myth #4 Twin Pregnancies Guarantee a Muffin-top Postpartum Body
Obviously, carrying two or more babies inside is tougher on your body than just one. You’re carrying around twice as much baby and fluid, etc. You will probably gain more weight than when having a singleton pregnancy, but it doesn’t mean you should automatically anticipate doubling the standard weight gain. And there’s no reason that your body can’t recover in the same way. One physical change that is common among twin moms is diastasis recti (the separation of the abdominal muscles). This can be corrected postpartum, both by exercise and surgically. Personally, I lost all my pregnancy weight in less than 2 weeks postpartum from breastfeeding the twins and I wore a postpartum support belt that helped bring the abdominal wall back together. So I can fit into all my pre-pregnancy clothes with little problem.
Now, Think about life AFTER your twins are born.
Get a few books that help you plan for the life as a twin mom. One I found to be very practical is Twin Sense – it gave me cute responses to the millions of questions I got from strangers, and helped me plan for some of the logistics of hauling twins around.
Get and accept help for the first few months after your twins’ birth.
Negotiate with your family and close friends to take turns helping out feeding babies, changing diapers, and doing housework. I was very thankful that my mother and mother in law took turns lending a hand for the first four months. If you can afford it, consider getting a postpartum doula or night nurse to help out in the first few weeks. Getting sleep is a top priority for your recovery and is a must for good lactation. Postpartum doulas are not cheap, so you could ask your family and friends to contribute to a fund at your baby shower in lieu of buying baby clothes and gear (which you can get secondhand through the twins clubs). If you are planning on going back to work and need childcare, consider affordable alternatives to daycare such as having an au pair in your home. Research the cost of caring for two or more children, and you may find that having a family member, nanny or au pair is more affordable and flexible for your needs.
Finally, enjoy becoming part of this special league of twin moms.
It only happens once in a lifetime (for most!) You’ll get lots of attention, lots of well-wishes, and special treatment during your pregnancy. And when your dynamic duo or trio finally arrive, your family will be truly unique. Your kids will continue to get extra attention and smiles for years to come. You’re a rock star! Live it up!
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